Please help support T1P!
donate

mainfbmaintwit
maing+mainyou

T1P Sponsors

Support T1P!
Buy art prints!
Art Prints
Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 529496
  • Total Topics: 35772
  • Online Today: 73
  • Online Ever: 195
  • (September 14, 2016, 12:21:10 PM)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 66
Total: 66

T1P Official Shop


Get your Official T1P and Diabetes Awareness gear right here!

Click image to visit our store!
 Redesigned products!

Proceeds from sales go to support the operation of this website!

Author Topic: What's normal coping with this?  (Read 2804 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

BrookeN

  • Guest
What's normal coping with this?
« on: October 27, 2012, 05:59:03 PM »
  • Publish
  • My 6yr old son was Dx with T1D the 1st of this month. He already has other difficulties/challenges with his development & Celiac disease...but Diabetes has been a difficult one to accept. It's been a month & my emotions keep changing about all this. I was really angry at first, finding out. Now, I'm just feeling in a funk. What is my deal?!

    What is normal? I'm curious to know what emotions other parents feel & how long it typically takes to just get over the initial blow of this dx & all the emotions..and just move on?!

    Thankful for any & all comments you are willing to share with me.

     ~B

     

    Offline andrea

    • Admin
    • *
    • Posts: 32876
    • Reputation: 214
    • Gender: Female
      • My Blog
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #1 on: October 27, 2012, 06:16:00 PM »
  • Publish
  • What you are feeling is exactly normal and it's typical to feel a full range of emotions.

    How long?  I don't know... I do know that it got easier day by day for me.  Every once in awhile it'll still come to surface for me but those days are few and far between 4.5 years later.  I can say that this place and these people have been a huge help to me in the process.

    It's a grieving process and it's ok to allow yourself to be sad or angry or in a funk about it.

    My girl was dx'd at 6 too  <hug>

    Mom to Annelies, 14 (Dx 18 Mar 08~Pumping MM Oct 08-May 12, Omnipod May 12-Aug 13. tSlim Aug 13+ ~Dexcom Oct 11), Katy, 18 (non-D) and Jory (non-D/US Navy)
    God created wine to keep Army Wives from taking over the world
    My blog

    Offline Lukesmama

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 4938
    • Reputation: 4
    • Gender: Female
    • Hangin' in
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #2 on: October 27, 2012, 06:40:49 PM »
  • Publish
  • Good question and one that for many of us is ongoing.....my son was dx a month after he turned 14 and it has been 3 years for our family.  I remember the first year.....it was learning and greiving and confusing and scary and anger and like 1000 emotions in a 24 hour period.  It still can be that sometimes.  It does get better.  Actually one of the members here has their avatar and it says "It never gets easier, YOU just get better."  And that is true. D will become 2nd nature for you and having a great support (like this board) will help you get better and feel stronger and more confident.  I was literally hanging by a frazzled thread when I stumbled across this board. It and the wonderful friends here saved my sanity.  Made me a MUCH better D mom and much more knowledgeable and confident on how to care for my son.  Sometimes the endo or CDE just doesn't get it or is not as understanding or is just plain wrong!!!

    Read as much as you can,(do you have Think like a Pancreas)?, pray or meditate if that helps you relax, come back here as often as you need and listen to your gut.  Your D mom gut will come to you soon.   <hug>
    Amy***Mom to Alex-21, Kayla-21, Austin-19, Luke-18 MDI (DX 09-13-09) & Kelsea-16

    "Let go or be dragged."

    [img]http://www.type1parents.org/SimpleTickers/img.php?pa=6

    Offline JamieP

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 1236
    • Reputation: 1
    • Gender: Female
    • I love T1P
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #3 on: October 27, 2012, 07:01:54 PM »
  • Publish
  • I'm so sorry for you. My 13yr old son was diagnosed 6 months ago and this has hands down been the hardest time in my life. Those first few weeks were the worst, but you really have no time to grieve. At least, I didn't. It was just do and do and learn and learn. Then it hit and is was definitely a grieving for the life Tyler should have and was stolen from him. The tears would start to flow anytime I was by myself- the car, the grocery isles. It is much better now, but there are still times it just hits me. I also went through a period of being very angry at the rest of the world- at my friends who were able to live a frivolous, care-free life. But it all gets better. I think one key for me was to just keep acquiring more knowledge- I read books, I read through on-line forums.  I wanted to understand everything!  And I analyze the numbers every day. I'm sure this will taper off, but not yet.  The other key was becoming active in on-line support groups. This group is wonderful and I'm in a couple of T1 mom Facebook groups. In doing this, you virtually surround yourself with others that get it and that means the world. These moms are there to hear you vent, cry, to answer any question or concern. It helps beyond measure. And then jumping in to help others when you are ready is also very therapeutic.

    I think 6 months is a big turning point for me. I finally feel ready to reclaim some of my old life. I will never go back to it all, but some. And I think 1 yr will be another big turning point for me. For my son, it has been so easy. He really has taken it all in stride. Right now- especially those first months, it is so much harder on us than on them. But it will get better. It will get much better.
    • Jamie Perez
    Jamie Perez
    Mom to Tyler, 16yrs, T1dx 4/21/12
    Dexcom G4 11/1/12; Omnipod 2/1/13
    Mom to Kate, 11yrs, NonD

    Offline Mich*09

    • Staff
    • *
    • Posts: 13354
    • Reputation: 125
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #4 on: October 27, 2012, 07:10:17 PM »
  • Publish
  • Fresh diagnosis.  All emotions boiling away just under the surface.  I remember those raw first days, weeks, months.  Everything you are feeling is normal.  Even doubting that you are not dealing with this the right way is normal.  But trust me, you are.  It's the only way we can get through it.  Our world is forever changed.  It will take some time to adjust.  Don't be hard on yourself.  Think about how much you have learned already!

    This board and the expert advice I've been given here has made a huge impact on my life and has made us much better at wrangling this d monster into a corner where we try to keep him quiet.

    The moms and dads here who live it everyday have been a real gold mine in my d education.  Not only that, but they have been my rock and have supported me and my entire family in ways unimaginable. 

     :welcome: to the board.  I hope you will post often.

    Michelle
    Mom to - Jordan 22, Grant (19 dx 9/17/09 MM Revel 6/1/10), Brett 16

    Offline KaelynsMom

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 3589
    • Reputation: 2
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #5 on: October 27, 2012, 07:24:28 PM »
  • Publish
  • Actually one of the members here has their avatar and it says "It never gets easier, YOU just get better."
    Yup- that's me!  ;D

    Hi Brooke! Welcome! As has been said everything you are feeling is normal. I think the length of the process is different for everyone. For me it is an ongoing process. My daughter was daignosed at age 2 1/2 almost 2 years ago. The first month was awful....then I went through the rest of the first year just existing and going through the process and not really "dealing". It was a little after our first year anniversary that I was on the brink of a breakdown and crying and angry all the time that I found my way here. That was the first time I realized that there WERE other people out there who were feeling what I was feeling. This place and the people here really did save my sanity.

    I hope you stick around and post whenever and whatever you need.
    « Last Edit: October 27, 2012, 07:51:40 PM by KaelynsMom »
    -Stephanie  Mom to Kaelyn, age 7 DX 10/31/10




    Offline Spurcell922

    • Level 3
    • ***
    • Posts: 786
    • Reputation: 1
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #6 on: October 27, 2012, 07:41:36 PM »
  • Publish
  • I came home from the hospital and had accepted this was our new way of life.  I really had no issues until a really bad low about 4 months ago. We're coming up on our first anniversary after dx and I think I'm in a worse place now then I was then.  Probably a factor of many things.  6 month old baby, early hours at work so I can spend more time with the kids, switch to the pump, and dealing with a toddler with D.  It does feel kind of strange, but I know it's normal.  This life affects everyone differently and at different times I'm sure.  Whatever you're going through is normal, and this is a great place to discuss anything you're going through.  I wish I had found this site earlier after diagnosis.
    Sarah

    Mom to:
    Chris, 4 yrs old, dx 11/23/11
    Adam, 2 years, non D
    Pumping with Animas ping 7/26/12
    Using Dexcom G4 9/13/14

    Offline Cortisol

    • Level 3
    • ***
    • Posts: 533
    • Reputation: 3
    • Gender: Female
    • Coffee acheiver
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #7 on: October 28, 2012, 12:00:46 AM »
  • Publish
  • Yes, it's a hard diagnosis to hear and to live with. It takes time to adjust and eventually things get more manageable. Our first three months were a blur.

    Somewhere about the six month mark I stopped being so pissed off and sad. Day by day , a little at a time. We are almost at the year mark and we are rapidly approaching our new normal with more hope and a lot more knowledge.

    My daughter is thriving, doing well and able to do the things she did before dx. We have learned to adjust and be flexible.

    This board helped me get through it. I know other type one moms in our area but my best connections have been on this board. This group totally gets it.

    There are many " firsts" with managing d.  I have found it helpful to celebrate each of them. Sometimes by just patting us both on the back and other times with concrete rewards.

    It's a lot to absorb and deal with for both of you. It does get easier. It really does.
    Hope you stay in touch and post often.

    Offline kcbscrapper

    • Staff
    • *
    • Posts: 4912
    • Reputation: 73
    • Gender: Female
    • 18 year old son - Dx type 1 11/09 Dx Graves 11/10
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #8 on: October 28, 2012, 01:42:39 AM »
  • Publish
  • I think it is so dependant on who you are, your support system, how your family generally deals with issues etc.  SO many unique things contribute to how any of us deal with challenges in our lives right?  I will say I had talked to a mom of a recently diagnosed child and her comment was " the initial diagnosis was kind of scary, ...but, well I am pretty organized so it isn't to difficult to make sure she is taken care of"   and my thought was WOW either she is extremely strong, it hasn't sunk in yet OR she is in total denial.
      I know I cried once in the hospital and then just felt really TIRED for a long time ( probably because I wasnt sleeping at all because I was trying to be a 24 x7 substitute pancrease and felt so totally inept at being selected for the job).  I suspect we all deal with the range of emotions at one time or another.  Know that you have a group here that understands, and it is always healthier to appropriately express your feelings than try to bottle them up.  What you are dealing with is normal -- this disease hits a family hard.  There is a very real reason that most Endo clinics provide family counselors to talk to when you need it.  Take advantage of this if need be as many on the board have found it to be helpfull. 

    Offline HD

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 11233
    • Reputation: 71
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #9 on: October 28, 2012, 10:29:20 AM »
  • Publish
  • There is no right or wrong in dealing with D, especially so early after dx.  Everybody has their own way. 

    I was shocked, numb, angry, sad, depressed, manic.  It spanned the range of all of those emotions.  I did a lot of crying in the shower in the early days, because I felt I needed to be strong for my son.  I was lucky to have some wonderful friends who helped me through it all and truly listened.  They brought food and showered me and my family with love and support.  We were more than 10,000 miles away from any family, so our friends were a Godsend.  We were lucky to have an awesome endo team who saved my son's life that night and taught us how to take care of him.   

    It does get easier.  Not easy, but easier.  You get better at it and more comfortable with it all.  It is a complicated and frustrating disease, and it isn't black and white.  You have to be flexible and roll with it.  We all make mistakes, and we're all still learning, but we get through it.  Our kids are healthy, happy and thriving.  That is the goal.  If you worry about every number, you will drive yourself crazy.

    The first days, weeks and months are awful.  You're still reeling from the dx and you're on information overload.  I think somewhere around the 6 month mark was a turning point for me.  Our one year "diaversary" was a big celebration for us.  We felt like we could really do this.  We hit 5 years in July. 
    Am I still angry and sad that he got T1D?  Absolutely!  I hate it for him and for us as a family and for all my friends here.  Does it still overwhelm me sometimes?  Yes.  Certain songs on the radio will make tears come instantly.  Does that anger and sadness settle in and take me down?  No.  I still have the occasional cry or rage, but it's not my constant companion anymore.

    If your endo's office has any counselors, I strongly advise taking advantage of that.  We met with one as a family, and both boys met with her separately.  Our younger son was very frightened and sad for his brother and worrying that he would get it too.  Meeting with the counselor was helpful for us all. 

    Please take care of yourself too.  It is so hard, because we want to be there and take care of our kids and we push our own feelings and needs out of the way.  Take some time for yourself.  Go for a walk, go shopping, meet a friend for coffee, whatever you need to do for a break and a recharge for you.

    We are here for you.  We all get it, and we all remember those early days.  Please stick around and post anything.  There are no dumb questions here, and we will do our best to help you get through this.   <hug>
    Heather
    mum to Campbell (18) dx on 20 July 2007 Pumping with the t:slim & Dexcom, and Tom (14) non-D 



    Offline LexisMommy

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 2021
    • Reputation: 2
    • Gender: Female
    • I love T1P
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #10 on: October 28, 2012, 02:01:17 PM »
  • Publish
  • 1.5 years later, I still cry daily. I feel like I will never get out of this "funk". My innocent child didn't deserve this. I wouldn't wish the anxiety, fear, anger, and saddness on anyone.
    Kendell. Mom to Lexi (4 and dx 4/21/11) and Eden



    Offline JamieP

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 1236
    • Reputation: 1
    • Gender: Female
    • I love T1P
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #11 on: October 28, 2012, 02:38:37 PM »
  • Publish
  • And just for the record, I have been crying while reading all of the responses!   :'(
    • Jamie Perez
    Jamie Perez
    Mom to Tyler, 16yrs, T1dx 4/21/12
    Dexcom G4 11/1/12; Omnipod 2/1/13
    Mom to Kate, 11yrs, NonD

    Offline jcsamom

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 4472
    • Reputation: 2
    • Gender: Female
    • KDA
      • KDA not DKA
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #12 on: October 28, 2012, 04:51:37 PM »
  • Publish
  • I cried most of through first week, then not much for the next month. It has been just over 2 months for us, and I find myself crying at odd times. I cried when I picked up his insulin from the pharmacy last week. Small town, they understood. It was tears of sadness mixed with gratitude that there is medicine that keeps my baby alive and reasonably normal. (My baby is 16.)
    Cassie dx 3/18/16 MDI
    Wife of Jason dx 12/14/12 MDI
    Mom of Seth (19), dx 8/24/12 MDI
    Mom of Josh (22), non-d
    http://kdanotdka.blogspot.com






    Offline janette2005

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 10897
    • Reputation: 15
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #13 on: October 29, 2012, 11:42:22 AM »
  • Publish
  •  <hug> <hug> <hug>

    What you feel is normal. Some people are stronger than others, but they took the time to grive and adapt to this new life style at their own pace. Our first year was the worst.




    Janette (Mom of Adrian, dx on 08/25/2005 & Alexander Non D)


    Offline mandi_smom

    • Level 4
    • ****
    • Posts: 9111
    • Reputation: 19
    • Gender: Female
    Re: What's normal coping with this?
    « Reply #14 on: October 30, 2012, 01:12:21 PM »
  • Publish
  • I think for everyone "normal" is different.  For me the first year was a blurr.  Mostly because I had so much to learn, so much to do.  I don't think I had time to let it get to me too often.  But I do remember crying in my car when I went anywhere by myself.  I'd compose myself and be fine by the time I got home.  I cried a lot.  D is an impossible thing to have when you are a control freak (and I WAS one!)....

    It really seemed to hit me the second year.  I was angry and upset and was constantly thinking WHY my daughter?  Didn't cry as much.  But I was angrier.  It affected everything in my life. 

    You will get to a point where you feel better more of the time than not.  How long?  I think for everyone that is a different number....

    hang in there.... <hug>
    Yolanda (Mom to Amanda 21 dx 3/27/06, pumping w/MM since 10/06 and Alec 17) South Florida=




     


    Facebook Comments

    Close
    Dear Guest, We hope that you are enjoying the T1P Community. If so, we hope you take advantage of more benefits of this great community by becoming a registered member.