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Author Topic: New mom just having a tough time of it...  (Read 2231 times)

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Offline Aleacat21

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New mom just having a tough time of it...
« on: July 31, 2014, 02:21:41 AM »
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  • My son is 4 and is the most picky eater EVER! If he even thinks that it looks off, he won't eat the food and he WILL starve, rather than eat what I give him. He is a new diagnosis (two weeks) and so his blood sugar is still not under control. We haven't got the dosage nailed down yet and so the worse is when I test him and his BS is under 100. I give him his shot and he refuses to eat. I do as the nurse said to do and make him at least drink his milk. I know I'm a rookie in this but I then sit paranoid watching him for signs of low blood sugar. I don't want to just cave and make him something else because that's not healthy either...but I do...eventually out of fear.

    This is like a waking nightmare that repeats itself every day. I fear waking up in the morning and then going to sleep at night. It's a battle to take his sugar (I finally do it while he's still asleep, at least in the morning). Its a battle at least half the time to give him his shot and then its a battle to make him eat.  :'( Then at night, (unless his sugar is high) I can't sleep because of fear that his sugar goes into a low. I have to touch him and listen to his breathing, test his sugar...anything to make sure he's okay. I feel like I'm losing my mind. This can't be normal... 

    Offline andrea

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #1 on: July 31, 2014, 06:24:09 AM »
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  • We are 6.5 years into it and also have yet to control blood sugar, but we manage it as best we can. The first thing I had to learn was that "control" is a myth, I couldn't control diabetes because it isn't a behavior.  The next thing I had to learn was to not try not to make it a food battle. So many times we were left scrambling because she was too full for food" which sent us into a panic because we were on a fixed carb plan and dosed insulin before eating.

    Was he a picky eater before? Have you tried to change his diet? In the hospital, for every lunch and dinner she ordered chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, baby carrots, milk and chocolate pudding. It was what she wanted when she got home too. For at least a week I let her. Not my most shining parenting moment but she would eat it and I was confident enough to carb count it.  I'm surprised she still likes nuggets and mashed potatoes still.

     <hug>

    Mom to Annelies, 14 (Dx 18 Mar 08~Pumping MM Oct 08-May 12, Omnipod May 12-Aug 13. tSlim Aug 13+ ~Dexcom Oct 11), Katy, 18 (non-D) and Jory (non-D/US Navy)
    God created wine to keep Army Wives from taking over the world
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    Offline SarahMay

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #2 on: July 31, 2014, 09:18:35 AM »
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  • Take heart, it's totally normal. I think MY kids hold the title of "pickiest eaters ever"! It's so frustrating to deal with... then add diabetes on top of it, and you have a recipe for a frazzled mom. Take heart: It will get easier! We still have occasional days where the picky eating and insulin doses collide, but it's not EVERY DAY. You will get there! Give yourself plenty of grace as you learn this new lifestyle. It's a LOT to handle all at once.

    When my five-year-old was first diagnosed, I *freaked out* about giving the insulin before the meal. How was I supposed to anticipate how many carbs he was going to eat?! Our educator sighed slightly (but with compassion) and gave me permission to give his shot AFTER the meal.

    Within a few months I was starting to learn his eating patterns, getting more familiar with carb counts, AND gaining confidence in noticing and treating lows. We were able to start dosing before the meal at breakfast & lunch (which are pretty much the same things over & over). Supper was the last holdout, because it was less predictable (both in carbs and quantity). But eventually I could handle treating a low without having a panic attack... and wanted to get that A1C down where it belonged!

    We also ate a lot of processed/packaged food in those early weeks. I'm not necessarily recommending it (it was so unhealthy!), but having a specified serving size & carb count made things a little less overwhelming at first. And even picky eaters are usually happy with granola bars and fish sticks every day, haha. (Eventually we transitioned back into a healthier diet as we learned to count carbs better.)

    When you're ready (not right now... you have enough on your mind!) this is my favorite resource for parenting picky eaters. I asked our dietician about these methods and she was 100% on board. It's been very helpful in our household:
    http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php

    Sorry so wordy, but I haven't had my coffee yet. ;)
    « Last Edit: July 31, 2014, 09:48:31 AM by SarahMay »
    Sarah - wife to Aaron, mom to
    Matthew (9) non-D
    Jonah (8) DX 02/05/14 (Animas Ping, Dexcom)
    Isaiah (8) DX 01/10/13 (Animas Ping, Dexcom)
    Gideon (5) non-D


    Offline KaelynsMom

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #3 on: July 31, 2014, 10:21:56 AM »
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  •  :welcome: so sorry you have to be here but glad you found us.

    My daughter was 2 at diagnosis and is 6 now. My best advice is this- do NOT make food an issue. Take the stress out of it. I would move to dosing after eating so as not to have to worry so much about the lows. My daughter was- well I won't say picky, I will say controlling- about her food. Refusing to eat- taking hours to eat a meal. I finally just stopped the stress. I set a timer for a reasonable time frame to eat in. I stopped fighting about food. There were plenty of times that she ate PB&J because she was refusing to eat what I made.

    She is 6 now and eats what I make and LOVES veggies and eats very healthy- giving in a little won't ruin her for life. My Mom always reminds me to "pick my battles" and I had to decide if it was worth fighting over. For us it wasn't because we did not want her to have issues surrounding food- so we let her have that bit of control when there was nothing else she could control at the time.

    Hang in there!  <hug>
    -Stephanie  Mom to Kaelyn, age 7 DX 10/31/10




    Offline oddangela

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #4 on: July 31, 2014, 10:26:50 AM »
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  • (((hugs)))

    A few things- yes- get permission and post dose for now.  4 is really young to expect you to pre dose at the beginning.  Maybe in a few months, but not yet.

    Next- from the mom of a picky kid who got pickier at diagnosis- let go of ALL food struggles right now.  Seriously.  Our t1 kids get SUCH baggage about food already.  Drop it for now.  Let him eat what he will and not eat what he won't and don't force it. 
    Angela- Mom to S- 8/9/04 (dx 5/4/11)  G- 6/4/08 and L- 4/3/12 and W- 3/18/15

    Offline gsmama

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #5 on: July 31, 2014, 10:46:38 AM »
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  • Yeah, my son was diagnosed at 4 too. It was hard. HARD.

    Some things to make it easier:

    1. Dose after he eats.

    2. Give him what he likes to eat. Whatever he ate before he was diagnosed and just figure out how to give insulin for it and let him eat it. That's how he should eat anyway.

    3. Testing sugar and giving shots is non negotiable. The faster you get it down that it is something that just needs to be done, the faster he will get on board. You wouldn't let him smoke a cigarette at 4 so you're not going to let him not get his sugar checked.

    We are here for you. I know you are DOING GREAT because you are here. Hugs and love.

    Leslie
    Leslie in New Jersey: mom to ava 11 (non-d) and giovanni 13 (dx'd T1D 7/25/07 and Celiac 1/14)

    Offline stefaniemsmith1

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #6 on: July 31, 2014, 04:16:21 PM »
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  •  <hug> <hug>  Rough but normal. I'd let him eat what we wants. He's got enough on his plate without dealing with that battle right now.

    When our girls were first dx'd we were told to bolus after eating.  My oldest started pre-bolusing after the first month or so but our little one we always dosed after eating until she was on a pump.

    Wife to my hero, Kevin
    Mom to Mackenzie (14, T1, DX 9/17/12, Pinging Green)
    & Kayleigh (7, T1, DX 11/20/12, Podding)
    www.prncsstefy.blogspot.com
    http://www.facebook.com/GigglyGirls

    Offline MommyAngela

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    Re: New mom just having a tough time of it...
    « Reply #7 on: August 01, 2014, 05:30:15 PM »
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  • Please, listen to the other moms here. I've been through this with two babies/toddlers. You know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? Well, the diabetes version is that "you can lead a toddler to food, but you can't make him eat." Seriously. Put foods he likes in front of him, count the carbs for what he eats, and then take it away and dose for whatever was consumed after half an hour. That's what our dietician and team said.

    As for the pokes, we all understand that at the beginning it is just a big bunch of fear for both him AND you. The best advice I received from a dear friend here was to put on a brave face, do what had to be done in a matter-of-fact way, give a big hug after, and then when it was done, leave the room to cry elsewhere if I needed to. Kids feed off our fears and ambivalence. If mama, daddy, and other family are making a big deal of everything, they will also make a big deal of everything. The sooner you treat it "normal", the sooner they will, too. Am I saying it isn't awful? No, not at all, but our jobs as parents are to make the boo-boos better. Think of it like when you kiss the skinned knee. You talk him down from the hurt, you don't feed the hurt, even though you know it stings like crazy, right? Same thing.

    Big hugs to you. You can do this! Depp breaths, one shot, one poke at a time. Don't overthink it. Seriously, 5 minutes at a time is all the further you need to think right now at the beginning, ok?
    Angela, Mom to Elizabeth - 13, Luke - 11, dx 9/30/2006 and Isaiah - 8, dx 6/7/2010 both pumping with T-Slims



     


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