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Author Topic: Continue Working?  (Read 6452 times)

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Offline tonyaburnley

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Continue Working?
« on: March 11, 2008, 09:49:39 PM »
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  • Evan was diagnosed exactly 3 months ago, and I am just now coming to grips with what this means for our lives.  As I begin to reach out to people around me, I am having trouble finding people who are still working full time with a diabetic toddler.  Am I just not asking the right people?  Surely people still work, right?  I am fortunate to live in a big city with a lot of support groups, but have not been able to find one that doesn't meet in the middle of the day......  I LOVE my job!!!!!!!  I LOVE my babysitter.  Evan has been with her since birth, and she is totally committed to caring for him as much as I am.  So, I don't feel pulled to quit my job EXCEPT now I'm feeling guilty because it seems like everyone else has quit theirs.  Am I crazy? ???

    Offline Kellie

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #1 on: March 11, 2008, 09:51:55 PM »
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  • You need to do what you feel is the best thing for YOU!!  I felt guitly going back to work right away.  I also only worked part time, so it wasn't too bad.  But now I just do weekends and I do feel better about it.  This has to be your decision, there is no right or wrong!!
    Kellie ~ Mom to Christopher 10~ dx July 2004 and Emily 6~ dx June 2008 (Southern NJ)

    Offline usbornetheresa

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #2 on: March 11, 2008, 09:52:32 PM »
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  • You are not crazy.  I work from home, but I do fund raisers at different locations so I am gone 3 days a week.  Tori is in school, so I rely on my neighbor for most before/after school care.  I rep for 2 different companies and would love to quit the 1 company, but I don't think I would give up the other.  It sounds like you have a good thing and if you are comfortable with it, then that is what you should do.
    Theresa
    Mom to Tori (14yo) dx 3/2006
    Pumping with Animas Ping 8/2010
    Dex G4 10/2013
    Michigan
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    Offline Tara

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #3 on: March 11, 2008, 09:57:17 PM »
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  • I agree with Kellie - you have to do what's right for you.  I think a lot of parents aren't working b/c they can't find good daycare.  If you have a good babysitter and you want to work - go for it! 
    Tara
    Mom to Finn, 4 years old, dx 8/29/05 and Niamh, 3 years old

    Offline Nikki

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #4 on: March 11, 2008, 09:57:59 PM »
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  • You love your job, you have a great sitter, why would you quit? Why would you lose the extra income (which would be taking from Evan) and your identity? I don't think you should feel guilty at all! You've provided Evan with a committed babysitter who takes good care of him and he is very comfortable with her since he's been with her since birth. I don't think rearranging your life and his would be a good thing at all!
    So to answer your question, yes, I think you are just asking the wrong people! I actually admire those who can still work full time and have their children well taken care of!
    ~Nikki
    Mom to Morgan (16, dx 7-13-04, pumpin' w/minimed since 1/30/06) Jessica (22) Tyler (21) and Rodney (13) Step Mom to Mickele (28)
    Grandma to Hannah (8) Layla (5) Addison (4) Joey (2) and Zoie (2 months)
    Rotterdam New York
          

    Offline mandi_smom

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #5 on: March 11, 2008, 10:00:59 PM »
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  • there's no right way to do it.  If you feel comfortable and its working for you guys, you shouldn't feel bad about working.  I think its great that you can still balance everything.  I think moms or dads who choose to not work after a toddler or other child has been dxd w/d is because of not having those same things you mention you do have, like adequate daycare...

    My advice is to do what works for you and your family.
    Yolanda (Mom to Amanda 21 dx 3/27/06, pumping w/MM since 10/06 and Alec 17) South Florida=


    Offline Em

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #6 on: March 11, 2008, 10:04:45 PM »
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  • Well Christian was not a toddler but, I did not miss but one week when he was in the hospital. Then just for doctor appt. now. But, Joe had just quit his job and has just worked on and off so he has been here the whole time with Christian. You have to do like they just said whatever makes you comfortable.
    Emily mother of Christian-13 years old  Dx Feb. 27, 2006, Pumping Animas 2020 7/28/2008


    Offline Bernadette

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #7 on: March 11, 2008, 10:54:16 PM »
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  • You seem to have a great setup - you love your job and your sitter why would you change that. I am currently getting ready to go back to work mostly for my sanity and of course the $$$. I think that everyone has to do what is right for them and in your case why change something that is going so well.
    As far as evening support groups, we here in Staten Island meet during the day but always have asked those that cant make it if we they would want to meet during the evening. You should contact the groups they may be willing to do every other month in the evening.
    Good luck to you and we are all here to support you 24/7




    Anthony (age 21) dx age 9   2/24/2004

    Jackie

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #8 on: March 12, 2008, 06:25:32 AM »
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  • You've been given some great advice. I've got to agree! All I can add is that I have a 3 month old baby with D, she also has cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. However, I also love my job, and although I'm not full timing, I'm beginning to accept more work, more teaching and I've been marking editing and writing throughout. Yes, I would go mad without my job, and no way would I ever want to give it up. I am lucky that I don't have to. It seems you are in a similar situation. Sounds like you have a wonderful set up. I say go for it if that's what you want. Your happiness and sanity is so important to both you and your family life.!

    Offline Moifry

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #9 on: March 12, 2008, 08:51:14 AM »
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  • As everyone has already said, do what is right for you and your family. I work full-time, but I have been off for 8 weeks on leave to get my head wrapped around this disease and it's impacts on my family. I go back next week on an easeback 4 hours/day and then 6 hours the next week, then back to full-time. I am nervous about it because I don't want to go back to the way I was before my doctor put me off, but I am looking forward to it as well. I miss my co-workers and the challenge of my job (I'm sure that will wear off after a week :) ).

    Good luck with your decision, I know have a good caregiver makes all the difference, we had issues right after Meaghan's diagnosis, so I spent alot of time at her daycare explaining things, and they did research themselves. They also have assigned one girl who is in charge of making sure Meaghan's BG is checked and she counts her carbs, so that made me feel better.

    If you love your job and have a good caregiver, don't feel guilty at all, Evan needs a healthy mommy too!! :)
    Meaghan - 6 (dx -12/14/07, pumping since 07/23/08) & Richard - 9 (non-D)



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    Offline janette2005

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #10 on: March 12, 2008, 09:14:23 AM »
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  • My son was dx with 2 yo on Thursday. We stayed on the hospital till Sunday. I started working next Tuesday. I work full time and I don't even have a great time at work or either hate it. I just work bc I have to do it. If not, I will be living on the street. One salary is not enough to live in Miami! And we need insurance now more than ever!
    Adrian's babysitter has taking care of him since he was 3 months old. She is a very nice person. But she doesn't want to be involved on his D care. I'm lucky that I work 2 blocks from her home and my work is flexible. I focused my fight on teaching him what to do and how to do it. He is 5 now and we haven't had any problem.
    That is my story and I agree with the others, do what you think fit you and your family. Don't ever feel guilty about that!


    Janette (Mom of Adrian, dx on 08/25/2005 & Alexander Non D)


    Offline house216

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #11 on: March 12, 2008, 11:32:25 AM »
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  • YOu are not crazy, Lucas was 3 when he was DX, I did not have the choice to quit my job,  I have to work inorder to provide for my boys, otherwise they wouldn't have medical insurance.  I have an awesome daycare who took real well to learning to bolus him for lunch and snacks, and to check him every two to three hours.  I too love my job, its the only "entertainment" I have, besides its a good job with excellent benefits.  Obvisouly in the begininng I had to take extra time here and there, especially when he started pumping, but it has all worked out!! 

    What you can do is maybe take a leave of absence, but i would not quit because of D.  The truth is that life goes on and you learn to manage!!!
    Lucas, 8 yrs. old, DX, 5/10/07, Nicholas, 6 yrs. old, non-d
    South Florida

    Offline JulieChatellier

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #12 on: March 12, 2008, 11:37:12 AM »
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  • While Alyssa was not a toddler when Dxd, I understand your feelings. Sometimes I really want to quit my job to be with her more and we are almost 5 yrs into this and she is fixing to be 13. I really dont know what to tell you except you have to do what is right FOR YOU! Not what "The Jones'" are doing!

    Good Bless
    ~Julie
    Julie ~  Mom to: Alyssa 19 (MM Pumper dx'd @ 7) & Non D: Ryan 15, Maison 13, & Jada 11 - SOUTH LOUISIANA
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    Offline marina

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #13 on: March 12, 2008, 11:48:53 AM »
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  • A lot has been said already and I am not sure I have much to add. My son was diagnosed at 20 months and I thought about quitting for a while, but I didn't because I carry the insurance. At least that was my argument at the time. My feeling is that if you enjoy the job, and you have a good sitter, don't change anything because of the diabetes - and don't feel guilty! My job also involves a fair amount of travel, and although for the first year I felt really guilty about it, I now actually think it helps contribute to my sanity. I really admire all the stay at home mums, but in all honesty I sometimes feel it would be harder for me not to have the pleasures and pressures from work distracting me and keeping my life in a better balance for me.

    Marina
    (mother to Emil, 3, MM522 and CGMS)

    Offline JulieChatellier

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #14 on: March 12, 2008, 11:57:26 AM »
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  • A lot has been said already and I am not sure I have much to add. My son was diagnosed at 20 months and I thought about quitting for a while, but I didn't because I carry the insurance. At least that was my argument at the time. My feeling is that if you enjoy the job, and you have a good sitter, don't change anything because of the diabetes - and don't feel guilty! My job also involves a fair amount of travel, and although for the first year I felt really guilty about it, I now actually think it helps contribute to my sanity. I really admire all the stay at home mums, but in all honesty I sometimes feel it would be harder for me not to have the pleasures and pressures from work distracting me and keeping my life in a better balance for me.

    Marina
    (mother to Emil, 3, MM522 and CGMS)

    I agree Marina..... My going to work, gives me a chance to be away from D for a little while and lets me recharge sometimes. Even if it is WORK!
    Julie ~  Mom to: Alyssa 19 (MM Pumper dx'd @ 7) & Non D: Ryan 15, Maison 13, & Jada 11 - SOUTH LOUISIANA
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