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Author Topic: Continue Working?  (Read 6519 times)

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Offline JoesMom

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Re: Continue Working?
« Reply #15 on: March 12, 2008, 04:20:59 PM »
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  • Well, my opinion doesn't really count since Joe wasn't a toddler when dx but when did that every stop me from offering it up. ;)

    You love your job, you love your child, you love your day care... still looking for something negative to say but that is all there is.

    Every working mother feels guilt for missing things but if I am absolutely confident that there is someone to take care of my son with his medical issues then I need the adult world more than I need to be home watching him during the day.

    I tell everyone at work that they are my therapy.  It was never a matter of me going to work to have a break from my kids, it was my kids sending me to work to have a break from me.

    Do what is right for you and ignore everyone who disagrees, unless they are offering you money so you can stay home that is.


    Julie - Mom to Michael (28), Joe (21 - dx 1/24/07 - Omnipod), Sam (19), and Sarah (17) - and Sadie/Deeya (my Soi Dogs)
    'Colorful' Colorado

    Offline MommyAngela

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #16 on: March 12, 2008, 04:31:36 PM »
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  • I've stayed out of this topic so far because I don't have experience from your side of the fence, but I can say this - if I had good non-family babysitting options available to me, I might like to have one day out of the house per week just for sanity reasons.  That being said, I wouldn't trade my experience as a stay-at-home mom for anything.  But I CHOSE to be a stay-at-home mom when our daughter was born, not due to a medical condition.  I gave up a well-paying job for one that pays in kisses and diapers, but that was my choice.  You need to go with what is best for your family as a whole, regardless of what others say.

    I'm reminded of the tough time I had trying to breastfeed both of my kids.  I was so convinced by the "breast is best" info that I pumped and put it in a bottle for 4 months with Elizabeth & would have gone longer with Luke.  Fortunately, my family and the pediatrician stepped in and pointed out that my kids weren't getting the best mommy when she got 2 hours of sleep per day at most.  So, with Luke, we went to formula at 1 month old, and he and Ellie got a much happier (and saner!) mommy in return.

    There are tradeoffs to everything in life, but your kids are going to be happier with a sane mommy than with a crazy one!  :)
    Angela, Mom to Elizabeth - 13, Luke - 11, dx 9/30/2006 and Isaiah - 8, dx 6/7/2010 both pumping with T-Slims

    Offline Livismom

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #17 on: March 12, 2008, 05:40:12 PM »
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  • unless they are offering you money so you can stay home that is.

    And if that ever happens, please contact ME ASAP!!!!
    Toni  mom to Livi  11 yrs old dx'd on 2/4/07 and Blake 14 non-d

    Offline Twinklet

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #18 on: March 16, 2008, 10:15:57 PM »
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  • If you have a good sitter who can handle D well and you love your job--I see no reason to quit! Consider yourself very blessed! If I had someone who could respond to emergencies or problems at school with Emily, I'd love to go back to work!
    Elizabeth (14), non-D, and Emily (18), diagnosed 5/06; pumping with Medtronic. Occasionally uses Dexcom Share.

    Offline shiloh

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #19 on: May 03, 2008, 10:48:33 AM »
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  • What if you have to miss so much work do to high sugars or low sugars or when they get sick? Now you are going to lose your job.Any input.   

    Offline Elaine

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #20 on: May 04, 2008, 06:32:24 PM »
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  • When my son was diagnosed at age 6 I was already a SAHM but planned on going back to work when my youngest started school. Now that she is in 1st grade I have started back to work. I now am a substitute teacher at their school. I come home with them and it may not be much $$ but it keeps me busy and I get to be off when they are off etc. So it isn't so bad.

    Had I not already been a SAHM I would probably have had to go back to work. I agree with those that are saying do what is right for your family.
    Elaine SAHM to Emily-9 and Daniel-11 Dx 11/10/04 pumping with Animas Ping

    Offline Mom2KandA

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #21 on: May 07, 2008, 08:25:32 AM »
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  • I know I am late chiming in here, but if you LOVE your job and have a good sitter then DON'T quit!!!! I never worked full time because I never had a sitter willing to take care of Kaitlyn, I always worked the evening shift so my husband was home with her. When she started school I worked 8am to 2pm so I could be home with her. It worked out well for us.

    You have to do what is best for your family
    ~Wanda~
    Mom to:  


    Kaitlyn age 14 dx'd 12-23-98 @ age 4
    Amelia age 3 Non-D

    Offline RosebudMama

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #22 on: July 09, 2008, 12:30:48 AM »
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  • Addy was dx at 24 months and we were both working.  Hubby's job didn't offer affordable benefits so I carried the health insurance and was preggo with our second baby.  Simply put, we couldn't find a childcare solution.  We both exhausted all of our leave and I changed my schedule around -- that kept our heads above water for about 6 months...just in time for the new baby to arrive.  By then I didn't have any time left for maternity leave, but still carried the benefits...

    Long story short, we picked up and moved.  Hubby had started looking for a job with benefits shortly after dx...and a state job with affordable benefits in AZ came through the day before I went into labor.  Baby came on 12/15 -- moved on 1/14.  We packed everything we could fit into a UHaul and sold or donated the rest.  Left the house with a realtor and crammed ourselves into a tiny apartment while we tried to figure out what to do next.  Fortunately this was right at the tip of the housing market spiral (4/06) and we were able to sell in the nick of time -- we did take a hit and it was 5 months before the house sold, but at least we got out from under it.  Somehow we managed to make our mortgage and our rent...that was a miracle in and of itself as far as I'm concerned.

    There I was with my diabetic toddler, nursing every 1 - 3 hours, completely sleep deprived, moving across country - away from all my family and friends - to a new place with no support system..AND we found out we were expecting again (WHAT!?!?!?!  :'(  <puke>  :loco:   Yeah, that was my reaction too...oh, but hubby took care of that for good 3 weeks after we found out...)  It's safe to say this mama was a tad bit OVERWHELMED.

    I'm a RN and love what I do.  Part of me felt ripped off that I went through all that school, worked hard at refining my skills, and established a career...and now faced this uncontrollable situation.  I went back to work on the weekends as soon as I could.  That lasted about a year.  Working EVERY weekend was hard on the family life -- we couldn't go to church together and never had time to make plans or do anything as a family.  I found a job from home working a couple eves a week taking triage calls for several general peds practices.  It's FAR from my dream job, but at least it keeps my license active and pays for the gas to get {He has a name}  to and from work. 

    So, here it is -- 3 years later.  Don't get me wrong.  I love being home with my girls -- all 3 of them  ;) , but I miss my nursing job.  I never planned to be a SAHM.  I feel guilty for not working.  You feel guilty for not staying home. 

    I say, we need to throw the guilt away. 

    God has been a source of strength for me...

    And Zoloft.

    Thank you, God, for Zoloft.
    Wendy...Jason's wife and mom to Adalyne (dx 7/25/05 @ age 24 months **PINK PING** & Celiac 12/08) Kaelyn, and Maya

    Offline tjsmom

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #23 on: July 09, 2008, 10:09:17 AM »
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  • There's been so much said already, but I just wanted to add my .02 as well.  My husband and I are both teachers, and when Thomas was dx (in April last year) it happened to be the first day of April vacation so I didn't actually miss work.  I did take the next week off so I could be available to his school (and since, let's face it, I was basically in a coma from shock!)  My mother (who is totally opposed to women working anyway) was on me for weeks to quit my job.  And, like you, every mother I met HAD quit their job when their child was dx.

    That being said, I had to work only 6 weeks and then we had summer vacation.  I kept telling myself to just tough it out those 6 weeks, and then re-evaluate.  I thought for sure it would be easier to care for him when I wasn't working, but really, it's not.  His #'s were just as all over the place in the summer as they were during the school year, and my being home didn't really change anything.

    When I went back last September I did feel like I had made a huge mistake, but like many that posted before me, we really can't afford to live the way we are now without two incomes.  Not to mention, you can't really quit in the middle of the school year if you are a teacher, so then I had to tough it out all year. But, as the school year went on, it became much easier.  Right around the one year mark we hit more of a stride.  I won't say life is easy with D, but it is more normal now, and I feel much more able to handle school and work.

    Hang in there - doing what works for you is the right thing for your child!

    Christine
    mom to TJ, 6, dx 4/17/07
    pumping since 4/15/08
    and Gwen, 8, non-d

    Offline JoesMom

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #24 on: July 09, 2008, 10:24:33 AM »
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  • What if you have to miss so much work do to high sugars or low sugars or when they get sick? Now you are going to lose your job.Any input.   

    Some of you remember my year last year.  Between Joe's D, kidney stone disease (13 stones last year passed) his dramatic weight loss and the terrifying search for a tumor that thankfully did not exist, I was a mess.  I'm given 4 weeks a year and still went 2 over.  My employers stuck by me even when the majority of the time I was there I was distracted and basically insane with fear.  For the first time ever I cried at my job.  Sit down with your employers, explain what is going on.  They can't help if you don't tell them.  Let them know it might be rocky from time to time but if they don't give up on you they will have a loyal employee who will work to the bone for them. 


    Julie - Mom to Michael (28), Joe (21 - dx 1/24/07 - Omnipod), Sam (19), and Sarah (17) - and Sadie/Deeya (my Soi Dogs)
    'Colorful' Colorado

    Offline JulieChatellier

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #25 on: July 09, 2008, 02:52:46 PM »
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  • What if you have to miss so much work do to high sugars or low sugars or when they get sick? Now you are going to lose your job.Any input.   

    With everything going on in my life lately.... IE the ex idiot.... my bosses have never ONE TIME made me feel like my job was in jeopardy because of time missed.... And I have missed ALOT! (Thank God I'm Salary!)

    It is an understood thing here in the office that my children WILL ALWAYS come first! Now, that doesn't mean I take advantage of it, but they know where I stand. I have been in the middle of meetings with Presidents and CEOs of some of the largest insurance companies in the nation and got up to take a call from my daughters school only to return to the meeting and inform everyone that I had to leave to get my sick D child from school.

    I have stopped training classes to answer a carb question from my kid.

    I guess it all depends on your company.

    Some of you remember my year last year.  Between Joe's D, kidney stone disease (13 stones last year passed) his dramatic weight loss and the terrifying search for a tumor that thankfully did not exist, I was a mess.  I'm given 4 weeks a year and still went 2 over.  My employers stuck by me even when the majority of the time I was there I was distracted and basically insane with fear.  For the first time ever I cried at my job.  Sit down with your employers, explain what is going on.  They can't help if you don't tell them.  Let them know it might be rocky from time to time but if they don't give up on you they will have a loyal employee who will work to the bone for them. 

    I agree completely Julie! The first time I ever cried at work had to do with Alyssa and D! The CEO of my company (a big 380lb 6'8" man) gave me a big bear hug and told me to let it out! :)

    Unless you work for a complete jerk, most people are very understanding, if when you are there, you are doing your job to your fullest!
    Julie ~  Mom to: Alyssa 19 (MM Pumper dx'd @ 7) & Non D: Ryan 15, Maison 13, & Jada 11 - SOUTH LOUISIANA
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    Offline Kim5798

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #26 on: July 10, 2008, 06:34:46 PM »
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  • there's no right way to do it.  If you feel comfortable and its working for you guys, you shouldn't feel bad about working.  I think its great that you can still balance everything.  I think moms or dads who choose to not work after a toddler or other child has been dxd w/d is because of not having those same things you mention you do have, like adequate daycare...

    My advice is to do what works for you and your family.


    I agree.  I was able to change my hours around when Danielle was diagnosed, and was already working from home a couple days per week.  Eventually, I did stop working, but it was more because the owner of the company decided to retire, and since we had been cutting back, we decided to try it on one income.  If I had not had someone I trusted, who cared for the child the way I would(my Aunt watched her while I worked) AND a boss who understood that my kid was coming first, there is no way I would have been able to continue working.  if it works for your family...that is what you should be doing.  If things change, you can always do something different.

    kim
    Kim, mom to Danielle 10, dx type 1 age 3, celiac 06/09, and Scott, age 13, non-d

    Offline kafroche

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #27 on: July 11, 2008, 04:54:34 PM »
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  • I've been on leave from my CPhT job since Liam was diagnosed. My husband had tried to get his company to approve that he work from home a few days per week so that I could go back to work days instead of the night shifts I was pulling. No such luck. Now the financial strain is getting to us. Liam's meds are finacially putting us over the edge without me working. I still work during the day watching my cousin's son, yes I get paid. Before Liam was dx I did that and kept about 25 hours a week at the pharmacy. It's tough. We only have my cousin up here, so she can not watch Liam obviously. Other than that I have no one else that I can trust to care for him. It's very hard. Add in the fact that an employer, such as my husband's, doesn't give a rats behind what's going on, and you are between a rock and a hard palce.


    You can only do what works for YOUR family. That is all any of us can do.
    Karen...Liam 8 DX 3/2008 & Katie,11 non-d



    Offline Tiffany***

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #28 on: May 19, 2009, 10:49:58 AM »
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  • Vivian was diagnosed while I was home on winter break.  I'm a full time student. 

    She was actually diagnosed dead week and spent the entire time in the hospital.  I ended up failing one class because I couldn't get hold of the prof.  At any rate.

    I went back full time in Jan when classes resumed.  I work part time as well.  I can tell you that it was the hardest term I've ever had.  What with the school calling, her getting sick, needing to leave school on a moments notice. 

    Honestly for me, I think resuming my normal activities was important.  I would definitely get consumed by diabetes and never be able to dig my way out. 
    Tiffany mom to 4.  T. 9-00 non-d  V. 12-02 dx 12-08  H. 3-07  E. 9-10

    Offline jewlzann

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    Re: Continue Working?
    « Reply #29 on: October 19, 2009, 10:20:20 PM »
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  • Hi All,
     I am new to this forum...but this is a burning issue for me. So I was glad to read how everyone handles work and D.  I say if you don't want to quit and have all the accomodations in place for your child, dont quit. Dont quit out of quilt:)

    My situation is somewhat the opposite.... I really need to work, but don't feel I can as I don't have people in place to help. My son is in 6th grade and middle school does not provide any after school care. He is 11 with T1D and my daughter is 6 with T1D and we are only recently diagnosed (both). We are paying a fortune for private health insurance, not to mention all of bills from hospital stays.  For me this really stinks, as I feel my children need me more than ever and I need to work more than ever.  I was laid off last year after 18 years in corporate america, sent my job to India and my husband is self employed.....I worry about summer care if I do find a job.

    My 2 cents and my dilemma about (not)working.....

    Thanks for listening.
    Julie
    Julie
    Mother of Austin (age 11) DX 072809 and
    Olivia (age 6) DX 091709



     


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